Not One Of Those Mothers!
Dear Lord help me, I think I am becoming one of those mothers; the ones who compare themselves to other moms, and their children to other children. I realized I was on the downward spiral last week while in Lynchburg. We were all sitting in Cracker Barrel and a family sat down near ours with a toddler Gracie’s size. I suspect she was a little older since Gracie looks bigger than her age, but I digress. Anyway, her mother was having her show off the words she could say for the grandmother that was sitting with them, and they were clapping for her as she used her fork and spoon. And here I am sitting there thinking: “Gracie can do that, maybe she isn’t as advanced as I thought.” The little girl started naming parts of the body like Gracie does, and I began to panic: “what if this little girl knows more than Gracie, I have to step up my at-home training!”
I am terrified of becoming one of those mothers. Occasionally I notice myself mentally sticking up my nose at other mothers who let their children run around crazy in Wal Mart, or cringe at the parents who scold or spank their children in public, or smile with pride a little when a child older than Gracie can’t do the things she can.
I am horribly ashamed of myself! How do I stop this from becoming the parent who touts about her child to every other parent in her child’s pre-school?!! Somehow Gracie’s success and intelligence has become linked to my skills as a parent. If she fails at a task, I fail, if she goes above and beyond I worry that another child may be working harder to surpass her.
I was like this before kids though. In school it killed me if I didn’t have the highest grade or got the best remarks on a project. But, how do I keep this from happening to Gracie, and keep from being an embarrassment as a mom? Help! I am hoping that a little bit of competitiveness goes along with becoming a mom, but I want to find away to keep it just that—a little competitive! Lord, help me, I don’t want to be one of those moms!!!
I am terrified of becoming one of those mothers. Occasionally I notice myself mentally sticking up my nose at other mothers who let their children run around crazy in Wal Mart, or cringe at the parents who scold or spank their children in public, or smile with pride a little when a child older than Gracie can’t do the things she can.
I am horribly ashamed of myself! How do I stop this from becoming the parent who touts about her child to every other parent in her child’s pre-school?!! Somehow Gracie’s success and intelligence has become linked to my skills as a parent. If she fails at a task, I fail, if she goes above and beyond I worry that another child may be working harder to surpass her.
I was like this before kids though. In school it killed me if I didn’t have the highest grade or got the best remarks on a project. But, how do I keep this from happening to Gracie, and keep from being an embarrassment as a mom? Help! I am hoping that a little bit of competitiveness goes along with becoming a mom, but I want to find away to keep it just that—a little competitive! Lord, help me, I don’t want to be one of those moms!!!
I was a little bit like that with my first child, too. I think all moms have the potential to compare their child to others from time to time. Don't beat yourself up about it. There are two good books that address letting go of the "mommywars" that I recommend: 1. "Confessions of a Slacker Mom" by M. Mead
ReplyDelete2."Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Madness" by J. Warner