My Dearest Apologies Little One
Dearest Gracie:
What a job it has been to be your mother over the past 23 months. It has been a joy, a gift, a lesson in patience and understanding, a marathon, a sermon and a once in a lifetime opportunity. But, I know that I have not been perfect. Here lies my confessions of apology to you, my littlest baby and greatest reward.
I am sorry this morning when you wanted to play cups and I wanted to sleep. I put in a Barney video hoping you would give me 5 minutes of peace before I had to start the day. But, there you were again and again bringing me a new toy to my bedside every three minutes before I caved in and got up. There are so few minutes left in your toddler years, and I am most sorry for losing the ones I had this morning.
I am sorry that I eschewed you away when I was trying to do the dishes. You wanted my attention, but I was in a hurry to have the house clean before someone was to come over. I told you to go play in your room, when I should have tossed aside the soapy water to hold you and find out what magical adventure you wanted me to accompany you on.
I am sorry that I got frustrated at you when we went to the store. You wanted to run down the isles and touch everything. So many fascinating colors and textures, you saw a world of opportunity, and I wanted to get the few things on our list and get you home for a nap.
I am sorry that I wouldn't let you have another granola bar for snack. You love their sugary taste, but I want you to be healthy. They are a simple pleasure, but my fear of your following in my obese footsteps kept me from allowing you to enjoy another.
I am sorry that I couldn't understand you when you were whining and crying this afternoon after your snack. I didn't take the time to try and figure out what you wanted, and I grew frustrated that you wouldn't remove the binki from your mouth to annunciate. I want you to be a baby forever, and yet there are times I treat you as if you couldn't grow up fast enough.
I am sorry that I didn't try harder to find you something that you would eat for dinner tonight. I know that your teeth are bothering you and you didn't want to eat. And even though I offered you applesauce and you refused, I wish I had found something to fill your tiny belly
I am sorry that I held you so long this afternoon when you woke up from your nap. You wanted to play, but I wanted to keep stroking your beautiful curls like you had let me do for several minutes in my lap. Your need to play and get busy was as overwhelming to you as my need to hug and hold you.
I am sorry that I gave you so many kisses today. You squirmed and wiggled in my arms each time I gave you more than two. You want to be independent, but I can't let you go until you know how much I love you.
I am sorry I kept putting the bow in your hair today, I know how much you dislike it. It keeps the hair out of your eyes, but secretly I love it because I can see your precious face better.
I am sorry I put you in a turtle neck and dress today. Two things you like to wear the least. I know you like it when your daddy dresses you in jeans and a pull over shirt. But, I love to watch you twirl around as you play and see the skirt flair out just like a princess.
I am sorry I held you extra long tonight before I put you to bed. You see I can't fall asleep myself until I know that you love me too.
I will make many mistakes in my hopefully long career as your mother. But, I will never regret each day and each memory I live with you. You are my most cherished gift. You are worth every verse of every song we sing, every step of every dance we perform, every hug and every kiss, every puzzle and every crayon. You are my world, and I only hope that you can forgive me for loving you so much and holding you so tightly.
Your Mommy
What a job it has been to be your mother over the past 23 months. It has been a joy, a gift, a lesson in patience and understanding, a marathon, a sermon and a once in a lifetime opportunity. But, I know that I have not been perfect. Here lies my confessions of apology to you, my littlest baby and greatest reward.
I am sorry this morning when you wanted to play cups and I wanted to sleep. I put in a Barney video hoping you would give me 5 minutes of peace before I had to start the day. But, there you were again and again bringing me a new toy to my bedside every three minutes before I caved in and got up. There are so few minutes left in your toddler years, and I am most sorry for losing the ones I had this morning.
I am sorry that I eschewed you away when I was trying to do the dishes. You wanted my attention, but I was in a hurry to have the house clean before someone was to come over. I told you to go play in your room, when I should have tossed aside the soapy water to hold you and find out what magical adventure you wanted me to accompany you on.
I am sorry that I got frustrated at you when we went to the store. You wanted to run down the isles and touch everything. So many fascinating colors and textures, you saw a world of opportunity, and I wanted to get the few things on our list and get you home for a nap.
I am sorry that I wouldn't let you have another granola bar for snack. You love their sugary taste, but I want you to be healthy. They are a simple pleasure, but my fear of your following in my obese footsteps kept me from allowing you to enjoy another.
I am sorry that I couldn't understand you when you were whining and crying this afternoon after your snack. I didn't take the time to try and figure out what you wanted, and I grew frustrated that you wouldn't remove the binki from your mouth to annunciate. I want you to be a baby forever, and yet there are times I treat you as if you couldn't grow up fast enough.
I am sorry that I didn't try harder to find you something that you would eat for dinner tonight. I know that your teeth are bothering you and you didn't want to eat. And even though I offered you applesauce and you refused, I wish I had found something to fill your tiny belly
I am sorry that I held you so long this afternoon when you woke up from your nap. You wanted to play, but I wanted to keep stroking your beautiful curls like you had let me do for several minutes in my lap. Your need to play and get busy was as overwhelming to you as my need to hug and hold you.
I am sorry that I gave you so many kisses today. You squirmed and wiggled in my arms each time I gave you more than two. You want to be independent, but I can't let you go until you know how much I love you.
I am sorry I kept putting the bow in your hair today, I know how much you dislike it. It keeps the hair out of your eyes, but secretly I love it because I can see your precious face better.
I am sorry I put you in a turtle neck and dress today. Two things you like to wear the least. I know you like it when your daddy dresses you in jeans and a pull over shirt. But, I love to watch you twirl around as you play and see the skirt flair out just like a princess.
I am sorry I held you extra long tonight before I put you to bed. You see I can't fall asleep myself until I know that you love me too.
I will make many mistakes in my hopefully long career as your mother. But, I will never regret each day and each memory I live with you. You are my most cherished gift. You are worth every verse of every song we sing, every step of every dance we perform, every hug and every kiss, every puzzle and every crayon. You are my world, and I only hope that you can forgive me for loving you so much and holding you so tightly.
Your Mommy
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