Guilt
Being a new mom (again) has set in, and I find myself wondering how I'm going to make it fair for both of my children.
You may recall that when I was pregnant I was so worried about what a new baby would mean for my time with Gracie. That "worry" has now become a reality.
Thomas is so time consuming, as you would guess any new baby is. Although, unfortunately for his big sister, he seems to require even more time that most. While he is a much happier baby than he was in the beginning, he still cries--a lot-- and seems to get bored, tired, and fussy extremely easily.
This of course means constantly having to tell Gracie to wait. I have to put our projects on the back burner, and I have to stop midway in our game or story or craft. And, then there are days when I can't even get to her and do something special.
She has been a good sport--until now. She still loves Thomas dearly, but is showing signs of wear. She has been called down far more often then she ever has, and she has been sent to her room more times in the past few weeks then ever in her life.
We have talked to her and explained how much babies need, and how much time they take. She understands this, but she is 5 and she is ready for it to be over. In fact she often tells me she wishes he were bigger.
I fear that she is thinking we don't have time for her anymore, or that we love Thomas more. Despite how much attention we try to give her, it will never be as much as she once got. She was the baby, and the center of our world. The sun rose and set with her, and now she is having to find a way to entertain herself, and is hearing the word "no" again and again.
I know I have a lot of blame in this, as the best part of being a stay at home mom with her, was all of the ideas I would come up with. I spent my day focused solely on her and we had so much fun. Now, I consider it a success if we get to so school work for the day.
I know things will get better, and I remind her, and myself of that. But, my time is running out. I have a few short months left with her and then it will be over. She will be in school and life will roll by so fast I won't even know what is happening.
How do I make these last weeks so special and savor ever minute when I have gotten barely 6 hours of sleep a night, a shower every other day (if I am lucky) and constantly having to stop mid sentence and go and tend to the baby.
I knew being a mother of two wouldn't be easy, but today it is even harder.
You may recall that when I was pregnant I was so worried about what a new baby would mean for my time with Gracie. That "worry" has now become a reality.
Thomas is so time consuming, as you would guess any new baby is. Although, unfortunately for his big sister, he seems to require even more time that most. While he is a much happier baby than he was in the beginning, he still cries--a lot-- and seems to get bored, tired, and fussy extremely easily.
This of course means constantly having to tell Gracie to wait. I have to put our projects on the back burner, and I have to stop midway in our game or story or craft. And, then there are days when I can't even get to her and do something special.
She has been a good sport--until now. She still loves Thomas dearly, but is showing signs of wear. She has been called down far more often then she ever has, and she has been sent to her room more times in the past few weeks then ever in her life.
We have talked to her and explained how much babies need, and how much time they take. She understands this, but she is 5 and she is ready for it to be over. In fact she often tells me she wishes he were bigger.
I fear that she is thinking we don't have time for her anymore, or that we love Thomas more. Despite how much attention we try to give her, it will never be as much as she once got. She was the baby, and the center of our world. The sun rose and set with her, and now she is having to find a way to entertain herself, and is hearing the word "no" again and again.
I know I have a lot of blame in this, as the best part of being a stay at home mom with her, was all of the ideas I would come up with. I spent my day focused solely on her and we had so much fun. Now, I consider it a success if we get to so school work for the day.
I know things will get better, and I remind her, and myself of that. But, my time is running out. I have a few short months left with her and then it will be over. She will be in school and life will roll by so fast I won't even know what is happening.
How do I make these last weeks so special and savor ever minute when I have gotten barely 6 hours of sleep a night, a shower every other day (if I am lucky) and constantly having to stop mid sentence and go and tend to the baby.
I knew being a mother of two wouldn't be easy, but today it is even harder.
Ummm...sorry..I have no advice on this one. I will say a prayer for you though.
ReplyDeleteWait...I know!! Get her a dog! Get her a miniature schnauzer!!! They don't shed, and they are sooo playful. That would be loads of fun for her, and I think Thomas would enjoy watching it! Mine sleeps through the night and potties outside all the time...no accidents! Training Lucie was a breeze! Yup...there's your idea!
Ooohhh! My heart goes out to you! I am sure you will find a way to make it work out - it's obvious how much you love both your babies, and that's what counts!At thirty I am sure Gracie won't be looking back thinking you didn't have time to play Candy Land one Friday afternoon, but remember how hard you tried to make her life special and how loved she felt :) Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the lovely mommy guilt! Been there done that. It will get better though, I promise. Once he gets a little bigger and can play more he and Gracie will be able to entertain themselves and hopefully not drive you as nuts. ;) Hang in there and if you need anything let me know. You are more than welcome in Richmond anytime.
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