NCIS: Crayola

The crime scene was gruesome. At least from the carpet's perspective.

A green amoeba-looking car shape was drawn on the carpet, immediately beside where Gracie was drawing with her magic markers on Sunday morning.

I was livid. Not only was this out of character for my Gracie, it was a breach of trust. Gracie gets to have markers in the living room, but on the explicit condition that she not draw on anything but paper. And we've never had a problem until now.

"Did you draw on the carpet?!" I half-yelled, hearing my father's voice come out of my mouth. "No," Gracie replied, looking me right in the eye. "You didn't draw on the carpet with a magic marker?" Barbara continued.

"No," said Gracie.

Since Thomas was nowhere to be seen (and he's yet to show any artistic inclination) this was an open and shut case. Still, I was absolutely bound and determined not to falsely accuse my child of doing something wrong.

So, we did a little forensic investigation of the crime scene.

My first exculpatory theory was that she could have drawn something on a piece of paper on top of the carpet, and the green marker just bled through. "Gracie, I need to see everything you've drawn today," I said. She responded by handing over a pile of drawings.

Lots of trees, lots of princesses. But not one of them had a green amoeba/car shape anywhere on the paper. Not good.

"So how did this happen?" I asked. "I dropped it, and it made that mark," she said, looking dead at me again. I doubted that a dropped magic marker could draw an amoeba shape, but just to be sure, we put caps on several markers and ran some tests.

"Drop this marker just like you dropped the green one," I ordered. She dropped it. It bounced, plainly NOT tracing out an amoeba shape on the carpet. "Hmm, that didn't make a round shape. Try this one."

She dropped it again, this time imparting a bit of spin to the marker on the way down, getting it to move in somewhat of a small circle when it hit. Still no amoeba shape, though.

"Still not right. Try this one." Seven markers (and some pretty nifty, elaborate wrist-flipping drops) later, still no amoeba shape.

"Gracie, you drew on the carpet, and then you lied to me about," I said angrily. "Haven't I told you, 'It's not the crime, it's the cover-up?'" She held fast. "I didn't draw on the carpet."

The jury of mommy and daddy was convinced beyond a reasonable doubt, though. "Gracie, you lose you magic markers for one day for drawing on the carpet, and two days for lying about it," Barbara said. Gracie looked like she'd just been sentenced to 10 years in prison.

But, having been convicted and the chief prosecutor out of the room, the defendant confessed. "Did you just want to see what would happen?" Barbara asked, as I stood allegedly out of earshot.

"Yeah," said Gracie. She apologized, and all was well. Carpet cleaner removed the green amoeba with no problem, and the impounded markers are stored on top of the fridge until Wednesday morning.

It was decidedly unpleasant, but I think we managed to teach her a lesson. And she still has a box of crayons while she's doing her hard time.

5 Responses to "NCIS: Crayola"

  1. Grandma2:07 PM

    Wait! Hold on here! I request a review of the video tape. She has been declared guilty without representation. She was framed!! Uncle Luke: WHERE ARE YOU??

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unlce Luke4:36 PM

    You want your grandchildren to have quality legal counsel, which pretty much excludes me from the remainder of the conversation. At this point in my illustrious legal career, I'd likely get that sentence of three days knocked "down" to about a month and half.

    ReplyDelete
  3. mamaw6:04 PM

    sounds like very effective parenting to me.....not to mention creative!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Candice9:23 PM

    Ha ha!! Na na na na!!! Get a coffee table for her to color under!!

    ALL kids WILL lie!!! ALL kids LIE!! I don't care if their parents think they are the MOST perfect angels. ALL kids will lie. We lied!! How many times did I get asked, "What are you doing?" To which I replied, "Nothing."

    ReplyDelete
  5. hahaha:-) love it!! Jonas just got busted carving his name in his dresser... after lying to us abt it (jo, who else would carve jonas into your dresser??) I went in for a parent teacher confrence. his journal entry that day: one time i got in trouble... he wrote abt he carved his name... BUSTED!!!

    ReplyDelete

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