I Bet Beethoven Didn't Have This Problem

Gracie has never had a problem sharing...in social situations anyway. She is always the first to share when she was in preschool, and I have even heard that from her Kindergarten teacher. She shared when we kept little Emma, she even shares at Grandma's house with Mariah and her "cous-its."

So, why does she have issues in our house?!!

Toys in this house have always been for Gracie. Everything that came in was for her. That changed about a year ago.

I noticed when we would get a baby gift, or something for the baby, she would insist on playing with it, or letting Lambie use it.

At the time I let it go, and allowed her to check things out. After all, she was about to have her solitary world turned upside down.

But, since Thomas was born, things have escalated.

Since he is too young really to play with things, she would ask to use his new toys or gifts until he was big enough. She was always sweet about it and would look at me with puppy dog eyes and say "just until he is big enough."

It really didn't matter at the time, and it was usually something I would pick up from a thrift store and santize thoroughly. Then, Grandma got Thomas (and her) a new toy still in the package. It ate away at her that I wouldn't let her open it and play with it. I wanted to keep it up until he was ready to use it. It was his gift to open (or have opened) and get to use it first.

As time went on, I would find toys from his room in her room, along with books.

This was a sticky situation since at one time these toys and books were hers. Not everything, but quite a bit. We wanted her to be well rounded and got her blocks and cars, etc when she was a baby. We had no idea she would be such a girly girl in the end.

I don't believe that she remembers any of these toys being hers, but it is a tricky thing to tell her that they are Thomas'. I decided to draw a line of sorts. I told her toys in the playroom were communal. They each could play with anything in the massive room full of toys, but toys in his room were off limits to her, just like toys in her room are off limits to him.

I am not sure it sunk in, but I plan to stick to it.

This gets me to today.

I got this Fisher Price piano at the church yard sale this summer. So, it was not formerly hers, and it is baby toy and I got it for Thomas. He showed some interest in it yesterday while we were playing, and since he can sit up and even get on his knees, I thought it would be a good time to put batteries in it and let him play.

Today Thomas and I went and got "C" batteries. While he was down for a nap, I put them in. Unfortunately he got up from his nap only minutes before we had to go and get Gracie from the bus stop. But, in those 5 minutes he was so excited to "bang" on the keys that lit up and played music. He did not want to leave it behind.

The piano was left in the living room and as soon as Gracie got home from school she made a bee line for it. I told her that Thomas was very excited to play with it and to let him have it.

This of course did not happen. Every time I turned around she was holding her arm out to keep him from touching the keys while she "played a song." Despite my constant warnings, she continued to hog the BABY toy.

It is like it is a territorial thing. It is fine for him to have toys and things, but she has to play with them first. Like a dog who "marks his territory."

As frustrated as I was getting, it took everything in me to not send her to her room or tell her not to touch the toy. I knew that wasn't the fair thing to do either. It is a toy, and that wouldn't exactly be helping her share.

She picked up on my very disapproving mood, and she told me "why don't you put him in my lap, and he can play and I will hold him, so we can both use it."


I couldn't help but grin. She had found a solution that wouldn't leave her out, and would allow Thomas to enjoy the toy. I smiled and put him in her lap. He thought this was great as it boosted him a little higher and he could bang on the keys without being pushed away.

Eventually Gracie lost interest in the baby toy (which I knew would happen) and walked away letting him have it back.


Something tells me I am in for years of this sort of refereeing challenge. But, it looks like I still have a very compassionate child who knows the right thing to do, but has a hard time remembering that when something new and shiny comes through the door.

Lord help me Christmas morning!!

Share this post