Breaking Bad...
Habits (again!)
Okay, now when we decided we wanted kids I gave my husband a list of traits that he was NOT to pass on to our future off spring. As usual he didn't listen--because at the top of that list was the debilitating "worry" gene that flows through his family like an ocean!
Gracie has struggled with worrying and anxiety at her young age, and many years ago when I saw it begin to surface, I vowed that she would break that habit, and fast! I refuse to let her spend the rest of her life afraid of everything! What a waste for such a precious young little girl.
I really thought we had the problem under control. She isn't the most adventurous child, but she had come so far. We had learned to throw away our worries, and we always gave things a try and when necessary we thought out "what could possibly happen if..." and then we usually came to a "plan" for what could happen.
While I sometimes didn't recognize my more adventurous girl, I was enjoying watching her live life instead of cowering from it.
But this morning our past came back to haunt us.
I watched my child almost literally wring her hands before school.
I knew something wasn't right with her, and she said her stomach hurt. We had ruled out a stomach bug yesterday when she finally told us her stomach and arms hurt and we learned that she had gone down the "slidey pole" at recess. I envision something along the lines of a fireman's pole that you can see on some play grounds. Which, of course, she was always to chicken to go down. Things clicked into place when she also said her cheeks hurt. We realized quickly that she had hurt her muscles from holding on so tight and clinching her teeth. We had her pretend to go down again and she laughed when those muscles ached harder.
So, this morning I figured her stomach was still just sore. But, she wasn't right. She was jumpy and jittery. She didn't want to eat breakfast, and you could tell she didn't want to go to school.
I started thinking back to the rest of the week and how I had noticed that she wasn't as excited when she got off the bus. She would tell us about her day, but I got very little information and she would just kind of plop when she got home. I figured she was getting exhausted from school, but when I looked at the clock this morning and realized I only had a minute to get her to the school bus she looked like a cat in a rocking chair factory.
Her stomach was fine minutes before (I asked her), and she then told me "mommy, my stomach started hurting after you said we only had a minute."
That was all the proof I needed. It is anxiety.
No one should have to suffer with anxiety, especially not a child!
I reluctantly put her on the bus.
I knew she wasn't sick--but I also knew something at school wasn't going well, or was bothering her.
I took a few minutes to regroup myself, and I emailed her teacher hoping for some sort of clue.
Her teacher emailed me back, and had no answers. She told me it was only the 2nd week of school and all of the kids still had first year jitters.
Now, I have no doubt that she is a seasoned and caring teacher--but she doesn't know Gracie, like I--her mother, does.
And since Gracie won't tell me what is bothering her about school, I guess I am going to have to wait this one out like all other mothers do.
Whatever it is will be fixed or dealt with in the quickest way possible, because I won't have her turned in knots through all of first grade.
Okay, now when we decided we wanted kids I gave my husband a list of traits that he was NOT to pass on to our future off spring. As usual he didn't listen--because at the top of that list was the debilitating "worry" gene that flows through his family like an ocean!
Gracie has struggled with worrying and anxiety at her young age, and many years ago when I saw it begin to surface, I vowed that she would break that habit, and fast! I refuse to let her spend the rest of her life afraid of everything! What a waste for such a precious young little girl.
I really thought we had the problem under control. She isn't the most adventurous child, but she had come so far. We had learned to throw away our worries, and we always gave things a try and when necessary we thought out "what could possibly happen if..." and then we usually came to a "plan" for what could happen.
While I sometimes didn't recognize my more adventurous girl, I was enjoying watching her live life instead of cowering from it.
But this morning our past came back to haunt us.
I watched my child almost literally wring her hands before school.
I knew something wasn't right with her, and she said her stomach hurt. We had ruled out a stomach bug yesterday when she finally told us her stomach and arms hurt and we learned that she had gone down the "slidey pole" at recess. I envision something along the lines of a fireman's pole that you can see on some play grounds. Which, of course, she was always to chicken to go down. Things clicked into place when she also said her cheeks hurt. We realized quickly that she had hurt her muscles from holding on so tight and clinching her teeth. We had her pretend to go down again and she laughed when those muscles ached harder.
So, this morning I figured her stomach was still just sore. But, she wasn't right. She was jumpy and jittery. She didn't want to eat breakfast, and you could tell she didn't want to go to school.
I started thinking back to the rest of the week and how I had noticed that she wasn't as excited when she got off the bus. She would tell us about her day, but I got very little information and she would just kind of plop when she got home. I figured she was getting exhausted from school, but when I looked at the clock this morning and realized I only had a minute to get her to the school bus she looked like a cat in a rocking chair factory.
Her stomach was fine minutes before (I asked her), and she then told me "mommy, my stomach started hurting after you said we only had a minute."
That was all the proof I needed. It is anxiety.
No one should have to suffer with anxiety, especially not a child!
I reluctantly put her on the bus.
I knew she wasn't sick--but I also knew something at school wasn't going well, or was bothering her.
I took a few minutes to regroup myself, and I emailed her teacher hoping for some sort of clue.
Her teacher emailed me back, and had no answers. She told me it was only the 2nd week of school and all of the kids still had first year jitters.
Now, I have no doubt that she is a seasoned and caring teacher--but she doesn't know Gracie, like I--her mother, does.
And since Gracie won't tell me what is bothering her about school, I guess I am going to have to wait this one out like all other mothers do.
Whatever it is will be fixed or dealt with in the quickest way possible, because I won't have her turned in knots through all of first grade.
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