Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Baby FAQ's

***Clarification, when I expressed my disbelief at people who ask super personal questions, it was more about strangers/acquaintances who ask. Best and close friends know what they can ask and how far to pry, that's why you are such good friends to begin with**

I meant to blog the answers to these questions weeks ago, but I barely have time to get a shower, so the answers are now different than they would have been....but for those of you wondering: 

How am I?

I am not exactly sure what people want to hear when they ask that question. I mean, are they wondering if I am hormonal, or in pain, or are they wondering if I am adjusting to sleepless nights or parenting 3 kids? Maybe all of it. Who knows. Maybe they just ask to be nice, but here's the long and short of it after one month.

Well, I am tired, and until last week the healing process seemed to be actually better than it was with Thomas.  If you have never had a C-Section you may not know that the healing takes significantly longer, and the more C's you have, the more scar tissue you have, thus the more pain/discomfort/longer healing time you have. But, I have to say (until I lifted that stupid case of water), I am healing well and it has been a great relief as it was 17 months before I was pain-free after Thomas!

I was (sadly) used to sleep-interrupted nights because our 6.5 year old STILL doesn't sleep through the night! So, honestly, I think I am more adjusted.

As for mothering 3, it is a day-to-day struggle. Not with energy. Okay not JUST with energy--parenting is exhausting. It's more of a struggle to give each child what he/she needs. Time, attention, school help, etc.  Gracie is going through a rough time in her life (it's a tween girl/middle school thing), and Thomas is showing huge signs of jealously and neediness.  So, like any mom I worry I am not doing it well enough, and like all mom's I literally do the best I can each day.

How is the Baby?

Precious. Onry. Gasy.

He's precious, becuause he is a baby, and because he's mine.  He is an onry little stinker because he spends his days 80% asleep 10% crying, screaming, and/or grunting and 10% puking/spitting up/burping.  

While the projectile spit up is so less than fun; it is predictable, and we aren't very worried as he is definitely gaining weight and thriving. We have him on a gentle version of his formula, and we will see what the pediatrician says at his 1 month check up.

Are you breast feeding? 

Why people feel it is okay to ask someone that I will NEVER know. So, here's my answer: my baby is being fed and he has a round tummy to prove it.  The End.

How is he sleeping? 

This question I get. You need a reminder of why you didn't have more--don't you?! ;)

Actually, yes. He sleeps super well at night and only feeds twice a night.  Now, we pay for that during the day. He is so hard to get to sleep/nap.  The problem is he fights sleep. His eyes and brain are always on the hunt and he can not shut it down. He is just like Gracie was as a baby.  So, I have to cuddle him or swaddle him or rock him--any way to hold him tight and keep his eyes from wondering.  If Gracie is a history lesson, we will struggle with this from here on out.  I was still cuddling her to sleep when she was 2 and I took a lot of behind-my-back grief/eye rolling for it, but when you are desperate for your exhausted child to sleep you will do whatever you need to do to get them the rest their little bodies need to survive.

When are you taking him to church? 

Doctors recommend that infants not leave the house for several weeks. So far Tobias has been to Sams once, Walmart twice & Bass Pro Shops once in addition to his pediatrician appointment. ALL of those times he didn't leave the carrier and he was protected by the carrier cover I made to keep people and germs out!!

At church I can't keep that carrier cover closed as they are all going to want to see him, and germs thrive at church (and Walmart and the library!) and it is so cold. So, at this point we don't have a set date, but I would love to be there for the 1st church service of February when we do communion the next time.

How are Gracie & Thomas handling him? 

Gracie LOVES him. She wants to hold him and dress him and feed him and talk to him and kiss him and coddle him--you get the idea.  She really smothers him...with love...and attention....and her presemce ;)

Thomas loves his brother too, he just doesn't like him all the time.  He is gross and messy and Thomas is my neat, clean OCD little boy. So, for right now they tolerate each other. But, Thomas is coming around. He has asked to hold him twice this week, and until he spit up--he was happy to hold him--and then give him back fast. He will talk to him and he finds the binky whenever he is called upon to do so.  They will best friends some day, but for now, they love at a distance.

When are your next appointments? 

Mine is at the end of January, and Tobias will go back this week (If I can get an appointment).

Did he gain his birth weight back? 

At his last appointment he was only 3 days old, and he had only gained an ounce back. But, since he has already outgrown several onsies and pajamas I am think we are long past "birth weight" at this point.

Do you have everything you need? 

So far so good. I am so thankful for the gifts and meal deliveries and visits we have had this month--it has been wonderful to receive the outpouring of love for our family.  We are making it just fine, and I have more clothes in the next size up that I am sure will be put into use in the next few weeks.  I was smart and stockpiled diapers from the time I found out I was pregnant, so we are well stocked and he has more clothes than he knows what to do with!  As he grows I am sure my needs and wants list will grow with him, but for now, we are good!

Are you going to have more? 

Here's another one of those questions that no one has any business asking!  And, yet, I have been asked many times since I brought him home!!  Here's my answer: he is the last child I will have grow inside of me. Garren and I would have welcomed as many children as God saw fit to bless us with, and after more struggle than I will ever share outside of our marriage, we were given three blessings that we could never truly express our love for in words.  My body was just not made for having babies, and after this child, my body has made it quite clear that it can not be put through pregnancy again.  However, I will not say now, or possibly ever, that "Our family is complete." I don't think that is something we get to say. While I have no expectations that we will ever parent more than three children, we put our hands and our family in God's hands, and he will truly have the last word on our family dynamic as well as all things in our lives.


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