Thursday, April 28, 2016

Mommy Guilt

Today was Thomas' 1st Grade (and only one for the year) field trip.  And for the first time in 5+ years I wasn't a chaperone.

I know that I don't have to do it all, and that I can't, but I always feel this awful pang of guilt when I have to be on the other side of anything the kids are involved in. 

It happened 7 years ago when Gracie was in Kindergarten and Thomas was a baby, and it is happening again. I know it isn't permanent, and I know that there are moms who miss so much more than I do--but it still hurts, and I still feel guilty.

I do however know some awesome moms at school, and understanding my feelings they were more than happy to snap some pictures of my boy on the trip.

Despite the rain they seemed to have a good time, and Thomas was thrilled that Tobias and I were going to have lunch with him.

I have done this particular field trip when Gracie was in 1st grade, and I knew it was not conducive to a stroller, so I compromised and told Thomas we would come to Meadowview Farm for lunch.

That morning I got a text from his teacher saying that there was too much rain and they would have lunch back in the classroom. So, Tobias and I made a bee line for the school and waited for his bus to arrive.

I love my boy all the time, but I love extra that he didn't make me feel worse for missing the trip. I always hurt for those kids who ask "where's my mom," or "why can't my my mom come?" when there is a special thing at school. I know it must hurt those mama's (and dads) to have to miss out as well.

Of course the fact that I picked up breadsticks and a Mountain Dew from Little Ceasars for his lunch probably made any hurt go right away ;)

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