Dear Tom

A young man, about high school age I would surmise, carried my packages to the car from our favorite produce stand yesterday.  Garren and the kids were home while I made my first trek of the season.

I love going to that stand. It doesn't have local produce until mid-summer, and this family is in no way "hippie," but you know how much I love a garden fresh tomato.

I found the place the first year we moved here, and while the produce is more pricey than a grocery store, it is far more delicious.

Each summer they employ local young men to help around the stand. I have no idea what their duties include, but they will carry your bags to the car without asking, and you can't really refuse them as the young lady cashier gives your bags to the young man.

It is never the same gentleman, but it is the same demeanor.  They say "thank you," and "how can I help you," and they call me "''mam."

Being a man you might not know how women react to that word. It is like a four-letter one.  You would think they had been shot or something when they hear themselves being referred to as the southern version of madam.

Not me.

I think it shows such great manners and respect.  Both are a dying art in this society, and soon the ways of grace and polite society will be long gone and only heard of in Andy Griffith reruns.

What is wrong with teaching your children to be respectful to their elders?  What is so spiteful about responding to a person like their words matter? What is hurtful in the word that you as a woman or man have earned?

There should be pride when you are called "sir" or "mam." Those words mean something. They mean you are wise and respected and listened to. They mean a persons parents knew how to raise a child.  It means the youth of today are being taught and they are listening and they want to hold on to tradition and respect.

I do flinch when a young person calls me "mam," not because I am offended, but because I am surprised that they posses the manners that I was brought up with.

I know you taught your beautiful Mallory these values. I remember the first time she called me "Mrs. Barbara," and how she said so timidly "yes mam." She isn't so timid any more as she prepares for her junior year in college. But, the last time I saw her just a few months ago she still said "yes mam" to me, and it made me smile.

I pray every day that I can raise my children as beautifully and gracefully and with such success as you raised your daughter.  I will teach them both to not just say "sir" and "mam," but to know why they should say it, and why it is important.

Thank you for holding fast to the ways of good society and good parenting...the ways of the Lord. And should mine and Garren's lessons on good manners and respect not take hold, please enforce the ways of peace and goodwill.... to my son's backside.... if needed.

With great love,
Barbara

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