(Abbreviated) Lunch With Gracie

We had to take things to Gracie's school today anyway, so I thought, why not stay for lunch?

Thomas was so excited to eat lunch with his sister, and he was taking his own "lunch" in his Bob The Builder lunchbox.

(I packed him the same things he always took for pre


school snack: juice pouch, cheese-its, and fruit snacks)

We arrived and I dropped the items off in the office like I planned, and we headed to Gracie's class table and waited.

Gracie was so surprised to see us and she plopped down with her lunchbox next to Thomas.  He opened his box and started to chow down.

That is where the happy part of this story ends.

This is the second lunch outing I have had with Gracie this year--the first being her birthday celebration which also caused chaos.

The class, most of whom apparently have behavior problems, have assigned seats at lunch.  Yes, at lunch!  So, when Thomas and I arrived we threw off the assigned seating.  So, kids who hated their seats were happily bouncing to another kids seat, and then kids with lunch trays were showing up all upset.  In a matter of 3 minutes there was chaos and TWO kids crying! Yes, crying because someone was in their seat. 

Now, I realize that yet again my presence at her school is distracting. I tell Gracie to move to her assigned seat and Thomas and I move to an empty table. 

Everyone shuffles back to their assigned seats.

Gracie is upset, there are still tears and a teacher is headed straight for us.  I believe the empty table will be occupied in a matter of moments.

That was it. I had made people cry--time to go.

Gracie is disappointed, Thomas is upset, and two kids have cried.

I have done my damage.

Here are my thoughts:

*Apparently there is a "parents" table. Of this I did not know, and I was told as I was packing Thomas up and leaving.  A) Gracie has gone to this school since first grade and I have done lunch with her at the kids table and NEVER had a problem before this year--but I guess that was because there were no assigned seats before now.  B) As her parent it was my responsibility to know that there was a place for me to sit and not disrupt the class, and while the cafeteria lady was trying to be helpful since I was leaving, I should have re-checked lunch policy before I came.

*Someone said on FB that I should have called ahead. Most of the time I do let the teacher know I am coming in, and there are added security measures taken since December at her school, and I know that we all need to be more cautious--but she is my child and I *should* be able to see her and check in on her anytime I want.  That is my security measure.  (Also, the teachers do NOT eat with the kids at lunch. They bring them in to the cafeteria and then head back to the classroom)

*Since Gracie started at this school parental involvement only seems to be encouraged from home by the sending in of money and items. I LOVE this year's teacher, and she is far more welcoming than than others.  I think maybe as a whole teachers are less doors-open policy and more eye brows up.  I can't blame them really as more and more parents blame the teacher for their child's education/behavioral problems.  However, as an involved parent you should not discourage me from coming in and participating or checking in on my child.  Her education is MY responsibility, you are doing me a favor by helping her along that path--but ultimately it is my duty and my privileged to see that she is educated.

So, while it was a discouraging lunch, I know that I could have handled it better. I definitely did not mean to make kids cry, and at the same time I am baffled at how my presence could have made such a HUGE deal for these kids.  Gracie and I were talking and after apologizing to her for upsetting her friends, I asked her if other moms and dads come in for lunch.  Apparently several have, and they sit at the table with their child and there is NO issue!  So, I am guessing it is just me!  Oh well. School is almost done for the year and we will start fresh again next fall and when I come in for a surprise lunch I will walk her to the back of the cafeteria to the isolated table for parents. And we shall enjoy our lunch.

Since Thomas didn't get to finish his lunch with Gracie, we came home and had a picnic with friends who didn't care where they sit ;)

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