Hard Sunday
Words can not express my emotions and feelings-- and how many tissues I went through this morning.
I had hoped that all of the excitement surrounding the end of Bible School and the kids performance would take my mind off it being our last Sunday in church here at Strasburg.
It did...until the end.
I should be proud of myself for making it that long, and not occupying my mind the entire service about how much I would miss all of these amazing people who found there ways in to my children's lives, and my life....and our hearts.
Now, for the record, I had asked Reverend Ed if we could avoid the "standing in front of the church" part of the service where we have to face everyone and say goodbye. Guess he likes the drama, because he called us up.
Poor Gracie wouldn't budge. She stood so hard and so firm I couldn't even pick her up to carry her to the front. She locked on to her Aunt Ruth and there she stood while Thomas, Daddy and I made our way to the waiting Reverend.
Thomas loved all eyes being on him, and he showed off. But, apparently the constant flow of tears from my eyes and the fact that I couldn't even look up caused a ripple of tears in the isles in front of me.
I didn't see them of course, but I wasn't the only one red and puffy as we left the service.
We were asked to stand in the back and greet the other church goers as they left.
Honestly, it was all a blurr. I was trying to hide my tears, but I couldn't, so I hid my face, mainly in the warm hugs of person after person who either wished us luck or said how sad they were to see us go.
I had begged Ruth and George the night before to not say goodbye to us today. I just couldn't take that on top of everything. Not only did they refrain, but they also didn't join the lines of hugging church members out the door. For that, I am eternally grateful!
My eyes remained puffy for most of the day, and I know the tears will return many more times this week. In fact, I am not doing very well keeping them at bay as I type this out.
I made this statement earlier tonight on Facebook, and I think it is the best way to sum up how I feel.... I appreciate all of the well wishes and the love, but the constant string of "you'll be fine" and "you'll make new friends," and "it will all work out," make it seem like it isn't okay to feel so sad. Truth is, I know we will be fine, but right now my heart is breaking. I have decided "it's my move and I'll cry if I want too!"
And, I will, and will some more. And, the tears will fall like rain in the future when I hear the hymn that our beloved church friends and family sang to us before we left this morning.
I had hoped that all of the excitement surrounding the end of Bible School and the kids performance would take my mind off it being our last Sunday in church here at Strasburg.
It did...until the end.
I should be proud of myself for making it that long, and not occupying my mind the entire service about how much I would miss all of these amazing people who found there ways in to my children's lives, and my life....and our hearts.
Now, for the record, I had asked Reverend Ed if we could avoid the "standing in front of the church" part of the service where we have to face everyone and say goodbye. Guess he likes the drama, because he called us up.
Poor Gracie wouldn't budge. She stood so hard and so firm I couldn't even pick her up to carry her to the front. She locked on to her Aunt Ruth and there she stood while Thomas, Daddy and I made our way to the waiting Reverend.
Thomas loved all eyes being on him, and he showed off. But, apparently the constant flow of tears from my eyes and the fact that I couldn't even look up caused a ripple of tears in the isles in front of me.
I didn't see them of course, but I wasn't the only one red and puffy as we left the service.
We were asked to stand in the back and greet the other church goers as they left.
Honestly, it was all a blurr. I was trying to hide my tears, but I couldn't, so I hid my face, mainly in the warm hugs of person after person who either wished us luck or said how sad they were to see us go.
I had begged Ruth and George the night before to not say goodbye to us today. I just couldn't take that on top of everything. Not only did they refrain, but they also didn't join the lines of hugging church members out the door. For that, I am eternally grateful!
My eyes remained puffy for most of the day, and I know the tears will return many more times this week. In fact, I am not doing very well keeping them at bay as I type this out.
I made this statement earlier tonight on Facebook, and I think it is the best way to sum up how I feel.... I appreciate all of the well wishes and the love, but the constant string of "you'll be fine" and "you'll make new friends," and "it will all work out," make it seem like it isn't okay to feel so sad. Truth is, I know we will be fine, but right now my heart is breaking. I have decided "it's my move and I'll cry if I want too!"
And, I will, and will some more. And, the tears will fall like rain in the future when I hear the hymn that our beloved church friends and family sang to us before we left this morning.
You and your family are in our prayers this week. I pray that God brings comfort to your heart as you embark on a new adventure!
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