Trading Lives
This week a friend of mine posted the following thought:
I remember kind of chuckling at the post and moving on thinking to myself "yea right."
Of course any one else that wasn't necessarily in the state of mind I was at the time (and even those who were), would have paused...thought for a moment...and been grateful.
I guess my thought process was stuck on "loading..."
A day later this same quote came back to me again, and again, off and on through out the day. And, again the day after.
Today as I scrubbed and disinfected the house room by room as my energy would allow (thanks 1st grade germs: mommy was the third Shipley to be struck by the stomach flu you sent home with Gracie)--I thought about how heavy my heart felt--and then how heavy the hearts of those around me must feel.
I like to think of myself as a very compassionate person, and I have been blessed to have so many good friends back that thought up. But like any human, when my heart is hurting, I am not as open to my own blessings as I should be.
These days I struggle with home sickness, an over whelming feeling of being unappreciated and, just simply being forgotten. I am run down, without help, overwhelmed, sad, and frustrated.
Those are "problems" to me. Those are the things that make me cry, make me feel like I am losing my mind, make me want to crawl back in bed and wait for a new day.
But if I poured those "problems" in to the soup pot with those of the women I just know on Facebook...it would look something like this.
You know when I set out to write this blog post I wanted to convey the mental struggle I faced today--trying to make myself realize just how good I have it now--and I always have had it. But, something about putting it in a visual form hammers home just how true the saying is.
There are days I feel like I am drowning. Drowning in my own self pity, and the chaos of a rambunctious toddler, family life, school life, attempting to come to terms with this new place and these new people, the impending holidays...
But, when I go to bed tonight, I will know that there is food in the pantry, the heat is on, the kids are safe and warm, the house we live in isn't in jeopardy, Garren will go to work Monday, the kids will have gifts under the tree...
I have never asked to trade lives with another person, although I admit I am guilty even today, for envying the lives of other moms. But, looking at the problems I face, and those that others face-- I think I would rather have my own.
And tonight, when I pray for my own strength, I will also pray for those I know are struggling, as I usually do--but, I will put them first.
"everyone thinks they have it harder then the next. Truth is, if we all put our problems in a hat to pick from, I'm sure we'd take our own back."
I remember kind of chuckling at the post and moving on thinking to myself "yea right."
Of course any one else that wasn't necessarily in the state of mind I was at the time (and even those who were), would have paused...thought for a moment...and been grateful.
I guess my thought process was stuck on "loading..."
A day later this same quote came back to me again, and again, off and on through out the day. And, again the day after.
Today as I scrubbed and disinfected the house room by room as my energy would allow (thanks 1st grade germs: mommy was the third Shipley to be struck by the stomach flu you sent home with Gracie)--I thought about how heavy my heart felt--and then how heavy the hearts of those around me must feel.
I like to think of myself as a very compassionate person, and I have been blessed to have so many good friends back that thought up. But like any human, when my heart is hurting, I am not as open to my own blessings as I should be.
These days I struggle with home sickness, an over whelming feeling of being unappreciated and, just simply being forgotten. I am run down, without help, overwhelmed, sad, and frustrated.
Those are "problems" to me. Those are the things that make me cry, make me feel like I am losing my mind, make me want to crawl back in bed and wait for a new day.
But if I poured those "problems" in to the soup pot with those of the women I just know on Facebook...it would look something like this.
You know when I set out to write this blog post I wanted to convey the mental struggle I faced today--trying to make myself realize just how good I have it now--and I always have had it. But, something about putting it in a visual form hammers home just how true the saying is.There are days I feel like I am drowning. Drowning in my own self pity, and the chaos of a rambunctious toddler, family life, school life, attempting to come to terms with this new place and these new people, the impending holidays...
But, when I go to bed tonight, I will know that there is food in the pantry, the heat is on, the kids are safe and warm, the house we live in isn't in jeopardy, Garren will go to work Monday, the kids will have gifts under the tree...
I have never asked to trade lives with another person, although I admit I am guilty even today, for envying the lives of other moms. But, looking at the problems I face, and those that others face-- I think I would rather have my own.
And tonight, when I pray for my own strength, I will also pray for those I know are struggling, as I usually do--but, I will put them first.
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