Hands On Parenting

 

When I was just Gracie's mommy, I mothered in such a different way.

Let me re-phrase: I mothered in a way she would allow me.

It is no secret that I continue to struggle to find ways to be a good mother to Thomas. 

Yes, I know that I am a good mommy when I feed him and hug him, and cover him in kisses, and tuck him in.

But, I am a much more "hands on" mama.  I prided myself in doing school work and crafts, and activities that I made up myself with Gracie.  She was so smart and good and we seemed to bring out the best in each other.  We were both creative, quiet, and imaginative.

Now with Thomas, I am at a loss.

He hates to sit down and do school work. In fact, he won't sit and do anything.  He is now in a phase where he wants me beside him 24/7 to "play" but there is no structure. He goes from one thing to another in a matter of minutes.  I can't get him to stop and clean up the last toy, or keep him on another idea for more than 5 minutes.

I am well aware that boys are different, and I have had to back away from Thomas for the past year or so.  He wants to do everything himself, and until lately he wanted to play solo (I was like that as a child too). 

So, here I am, a stay at home mom, who doesn't know what to do with her child.  The whole point of staying at home (for me) was to teach my kids, to mold them, to watch them grow and learn.  With him, I watch him make a mess, and I watch  myself get frustrated day after day.

Oh, he knows his ABC's and shapes, and colors, and can count to 20.  We just kind of stick that stuff in among the car races.  There aren't any worksheets or neat learning activities.  We just kind of learn as we go.  And, I am learning that is how it is going to be for the next 2 years.

I say all of that to say, that things haven't changed much. I can't do the things I did with Gracie, and I am struggling to find ways to teach and mold him. But...I have some new ideas (so there is a good side).

I found a blog, through a friend to Pinned this bloggers post (don't even try to understand that mom), and I feel like so much has been revealed.

I have looked for ideas for activities for anything to get my son to be more engaged, and I have failed. I either haven't looked in the right places, or I am still to stubborn to change my "motherly" ways.  But now, I have found a new arsenal of ideas!  They are "my kind" of ideas. They are hands-on and messy and great.

Now, we can't do a lot of them yet because of that pesky cast--but I couldn't resist doing one of the most simple ideas.

Letting him shuck the corn.

I am really good about a lot of things with my kids, but letting them help--I am really, really bad at it.  I am learning, and now Gracie does a few chores around the house (although at age 8, she should be doing so much more), but I still take my A type personality and hog all of the household work (why?!!!  Yep, it makes NO sense!!).

Anyway, I took the corn outside, a bowl outside, and I set Thomas on the porch. 

He wasn't so sure about it at first, but then he really got into it, and had a great time pulling the layers off one by one.  And, he chatted with me while he did it.  He has a new mommy's helper job, and I have a new and wonderful meal preparation moment with my son.

I absolutely can't wait to do so many more of the activities this lady has done with her son.  I know he won't love all of them--but I really think this will be a great learning and fun opportunity for both of us.

So, yea us!

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