Gold Stars For Mommy
Not praising oneself has become a new motto of mine:
In fact, I have taken that message to heart and have actively stopped posting to Facebook and tried to be more mindful of what I am posting to this blog. Usually it is about the children, and their adventures, but I can be prideful of those little people, so I am writing with more awareness.
With that being said, on my journey to and through 36 I am finding that overcoming my daily fears is also a virtue that God wants me to cultivate.
I can't say that I am "proud" of myself, because pride isn't what I feel upon accomplishing the many things that I did this week that were personally very difficult. There is a portion of "relief" as well just "light." I feel shinier. I can't really describe it any more. And, I don't mean the kind of shiny that anyone can see. I feel kind of like I ate some glitter.
Your average person would find all of these "star-worthy" events in my life this week laughable--but for me they were hard, and I summoned all of my courage to attempt and complete them.
So, I will not boast, but I will recognize the "glittery" feeling inside and know that I grew in strength and courage this week.
Yoga. I am not going to lie to you. I hate the gym. I hate going. I hate trying to get the kids ready, loaded up and dropping Thomas off. It is not super close and I hate the ride, I hate the pressure to go and I hate the guilt for not going. Gracie and I had been going to yoga class together on Monday's for a while. And then we stopped. I don't think we have been in more than 2 months. I knew we needed the mother/daughter time, and I knew I needed to go back to the gym I so monstrously despise. And, I planned, and I scheduled, and I promised myself and Gracie---and we went.
Zumba. The End. Anyone who is a mom, aged 30+, not graceful, nor danced since Prom deserves a gold star. It was very hard to go in. It was harder to take my children as witnesses. It was super hard to keep my composure and not sneak out the back after 5 minutes. (Technically we did sneak out, but Thomas was having a meltdown, and I promise you I would have felt even more humiliation, but I would have finished out the other 30 minutes of class time before never returning again)
So, another star for two days at the gym. Right?!
A gun. I didn't fire one. I didn't even hold one, but I stood calmly by while my son held and fired one and hit a paper target excitedly. My thoughts have not changed. I don't want to own a gun, I don't want to shoot a gun, and I would be thrilled to never see my son holding a weapon in his hands again. But, I stayed calm and as positive as I could be. After all, the more I object to him shooting the more he will want to it. Right?!
Bible Study. I went to my first ever Bible Study ALONE on Wednesday. I was very nervous and talked myself out of it several times this week before arriving in a parking space where people saw me so I had to go in. Pastor Jay had been talking about his new Bible Study for a few weeks during the service, and I loved the whole premise. It was an Andy Griffith Bible Study. If you know me at all you know I am a HUGE Andy fan, and I belong in Mayberry. I would pack my bags in a heartbeat and move us all there if I could. I was the youngest person in the room. I was among the very few without a friend or spouse to sit with, I did not participate in discussion or answer questions aloud--but I stayed, and I listened and I pondered as Pastor Jay spoke. Grace asked me if I was going again. I think I will have to summon courage again, but not as much, and I likely will. Garren is thrilled I went, and said he would have gone with me if there was child-care (and he loathes the Andy Griffith show--so that is true love). It is a 6-week study on Wednesday nights.
Sunday School. I have helped once. Just once. And I was a helper. I got the frantic email from the person in charge of organizing the schedule for Sunday School (as did everyone else on the list) that there was no one at all to do Thomas' preschool/Kindergarten class Sunday morning. I knew I should. I knew I needed to. So, I told her I would. Now, I ended up being a helper, but I went in Sunday morning thinking I would have the class solo and I would have to remember everything I needed to do that I learned more than a month ago. What is it that God says about not giving you more than you can handle?
In fact, I have taken that message to heart and have actively stopped posting to Facebook and tried to be more mindful of what I am posting to this blog. Usually it is about the children, and their adventures, but I can be prideful of those little people, so I am writing with more awareness.
With that being said, on my journey to and through 36 I am finding that overcoming my daily fears is also a virtue that God wants me to cultivate.
I can't say that I am "proud" of myself, because pride isn't what I feel upon accomplishing the many things that I did this week that were personally very difficult. There is a portion of "relief" as well just "light." I feel shinier. I can't really describe it any more. And, I don't mean the kind of shiny that anyone can see. I feel kind of like I ate some glitter.
Your average person would find all of these "star-worthy" events in my life this week laughable--but for me they were hard, and I summoned all of my courage to attempt and complete them.
So, I will not boast, but I will recognize the "glittery" feeling inside and know that I grew in strength and courage this week.
Yoga. I am not going to lie to you. I hate the gym. I hate going. I hate trying to get the kids ready, loaded up and dropping Thomas off. It is not super close and I hate the ride, I hate the pressure to go and I hate the guilt for not going. Gracie and I had been going to yoga class together on Monday's for a while. And then we stopped. I don't think we have been in more than 2 months. I knew we needed the mother/daughter time, and I knew I needed to go back to the gym I so monstrously despise. And, I planned, and I scheduled, and I promised myself and Gracie---and we went.Zumba. The End. Anyone who is a mom, aged 30+, not graceful, nor danced since Prom deserves a gold star. It was very hard to go in. It was harder to take my children as witnesses. It was super hard to keep my composure and not sneak out the back after 5 minutes. (Technically we did sneak out, but Thomas was having a meltdown, and I promise you I would have felt even more humiliation, but I would have finished out the other 30 minutes of class time before never returning again)So, another star for two days at the gym. Right?!
A gun. I didn't fire one. I didn't even hold one, but I stood calmly by while my son held and fired one and hit a paper target excitedly. My thoughts have not changed. I don't want to own a gun, I don't want to shoot a gun, and I would be thrilled to never see my son holding a weapon in his hands again. But, I stayed calm and as positive as I could be. After all, the more I object to him shooting the more he will want to it. Right?!
Bible Study. I went to my first ever Bible Study ALONE on Wednesday. I was very nervous and talked myself out of it several times this week before arriving in a parking space where people saw me so I had to go in. Pastor Jay had been talking about his new Bible Study for a few weeks during the service, and I loved the whole premise. It was an Andy Griffith Bible Study. If you know me at all you know I am a HUGE Andy fan, and I belong in Mayberry. I would pack my bags in a heartbeat and move us all there if I could. I was the youngest person in the room. I was among the very few without a friend or spouse to sit with, I did not participate in discussion or answer questions aloud--but I stayed, and I listened and I pondered as Pastor Jay spoke. Grace asked me if I was going again. I think I will have to summon courage again, but not as much, and I likely will. Garren is thrilled I went, and said he would have gone with me if there was child-care (and he loathes the Andy Griffith show--so that is true love). It is a 6-week study on Wednesday nights.
Sunday School. I have helped once. Just once. And I was a helper. I got the frantic email from the person in charge of organizing the schedule for Sunday School (as did everyone else on the list) that there was no one at all to do Thomas' preschool/Kindergarten class Sunday morning. I knew I should. I knew I needed to. So, I told her I would. Now, I ended up being a helper, but I went in Sunday morning thinking I would have the class solo and I would have to remember everything I needed to do that I learned more than a month ago. What is it that God says about not giving you more than you can handle?
Great job!
ReplyDeleteThese are all star worthy events! ��
You go girl!!!
ReplyDelete